Tears from heaven
by Silentdepths
Summary: Farf whished someone would understand him, that someone could see past the madman, but no one does, that is until Ken finds his notebook and reads his stories, the story is better than the summary kenxfarf Shounenai don’t like don’t read Chapter 06 is up!
1. Tears from heaven

**Title: Tears from heaven**

**Summary: Even the best writher puts something from his own character in a story, but only a good reader can figure out what (I suck at summary's)shounen-ai kenxfarf don't like don't read **

**Warning: Shounen-ai eventually, don't like, don't read and I warned you so don't flame oke **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Weiss Kreuz/ Knight hunters, but I do own this story mwahaha!**

**Authors note: Oke so I see you've come past my story, well I hope you enjoy it. To say honestly I think it's one op my masterpieces, but I don't want to brag, so enjoy the story **

**Chapter 01: Tears from heaven**

It was a rainy day in september. Raindrops fell from the sky or 'tears from heaven' as I called them. they clanged on to my coat as I walked through the park. Tiny clouds of hot air left my mouth. I shivered as the cold air rushed past my body. My footsteps reverberated against the wall of the ally as I walked to my home, or actually their home. The home of me and my companions.

I walked through the door. The house was dark and quit, they probably where already asleep I thought. But that thought was wrong, because the moment I took of my jacked, I heard a cold voice sending shivers of my back. "Where have you been". I quickly turned around. Something grasped my arm so that I couldn't move. I heard footsteps coming closer. The face of Brad Crawford appeared from the shadows. The way Brad looked terrified me and I tried to brake free from the grip on my arm.

/My, my aren't you in a rush/ a voice said inside my head, Schuldig. I could feel a smirk reveal on Schuldigs face. /The one and only/ he whispered. "I think" Schuldig said "that our little Farfarello here needs some punishment". Brad smirked "I think your right" he said. And whit that they brought me to my room, correction , my cell.

I heard the door shut behind me. The room was dark, only the tiny light of a candle shined in the darkness. I walked over to the little table where the candle stood on. I grasped something in my bag and pulled it out, it was a notebook.

You know most of the people I know see me as a madman, a lunatic, a psychopath, or whatever they may call it, but I know I'm not crazy….. I just see things different. But what bothers me is that nobody seems to know me, I mean me, just me not Berserker, just Farfarello. But I guess it can't be that way, I tried to change it….. but I just can't. I tried to cut myself, tried to suicide, tried to kill other people, but it didn't change one bit.

Until one day I found a piece of paper and a pen on this table when they had locked me up. And then the time I really needed to tell somebody how awful I felt, so I started to write, and write. And after a half an hour or so al my thoughts and feelings where on that paper. And then al I could do…… was write.

#end Farfarellos P.O.V.#

Knok, knok, knok… knok, knok, knok… Some one was knocking on his door. knok, knok, knok… "Ken?". Ken awoke at the sound of his name. slowly he opened his eyes, the light of the morning sun blinding them. "Ken?" he heard again "Ken are you there?". Ken groaned in irritation, why did the morning always come, why couldn't it just be night forever.

"Ken-kun?" Omi slowly opened the door "oh your already awake, well breakfast is ready" he said whit a smile. "Yes I'll be right there" Ken said still have asleep. He got up slowly. 'Oh how I hate mornings' he thought as he got dressed 'some times I just wish I could sleep forever, that I never have to wake up in this world again'.

He made his way downstairs. His team mates where already gone. It was their day of so he figured that Yohji would go to some kind of bar to get drunk, Aya would go to his sister, as always, and Omi had to go and visit some one. So he had the whole house for himself.

Ken looked at the clock, it was already lunch time. 'Wow I really overslept' he thought as he ate breakfast 'must come from the mission last night'.

#flashback#

"Bombay you take the left hall, Siberian you take the right, Balinese you come whit me" there leader ordered. Ken noted and took of whit out a single word, he knew better than questioning Aya. He walked threw the dark hall, or it was more like running but it didn't matter right then, al that mattered was locating their target.

His footsteps sounded hollow. There was complete silence in these halls, except for his footsteps there was no sound, or was there? Ken stopped and listened. There it was again, it was a soft sound, a normal person wouldn't have heard it.

Ken tried to locate the source of the sound but before he could do that he heard a soft voice whispering words into his ear. "Having fun?". He quickly turned around to see no one other than Berserker. Ken immediately unfold his claws. A smirk revealed on Berserker's face "boy aren't we a scary-cat".

"What are you doing here Berserker? And where are the other freaks?" Ken asked angry. Berserker's face hardened "that's none of your business" he hissed. "Then why are you stalking me?". "Stalking you?" Berserker said "I'm not stalking you, I just like to see you kittens run around the building to find some one who's not there anymore". "What?" Ken asked confused. Berserker laughed at this "oh Siberian your even more naïf than I thought".

"Siberian!". Ken turned around at sound of his codename "Siberian!" he heard Yohji scream. Ken looked over his shoulder, nothing, Berserker was gone. "Siberian!" he saw Yohji coming around the corner "oh there you are, we've been looking al over for you". "What's wrong?" Ken asked. "The target, he was death before we got there".

#end flashback#

Ken hadn't told anyone about his conversation whit Berserker, yet, he would tell them eventually but first he had to understand it himself. How did Berserker knew about the target's death, it was all a big mystery for Ken.

He decided he needed to get out, out of this house to some place where he could think. He got his jacked and walked out of the door. A long time it was just that… walking and thinking, trying to figure it out. Eventually he came by a coffeehouse and decided that he could think better whit a cup of coffee.

So he took a seat and ordered some coffee, and then it happened, while he was drinking his coffee he saw someone…… someone very familiar. It was Berserker, he was sitting there in a chair looking down at a notebook, writing in it. For a while Ken just observed him as he wrote. He seemed in some kind of trance Ken thought.

On that moment he decided to ask Berserker about last night, he was playing whit fire and he knew it, but this might be the only chance he had. So he stood up and walked over to the table where Berserker was sitting, he took the chair facing Berserker. For a long time he just sat there thinking of what to do, as Berserker went on whit his actions. But just when he wanted to ask something he was cut of by Berserker. "What are you doing here?".

Ken was a little taken back by that question but he quickly recovered "drinking coffee what else?". "I mean what are you doing here sitting in the chair facing me?" Berserker said. "Can't I sit here?" Ken asked. There was a long and uncomfortable silence in which Berserker took the time to write a little bit more.

"What are you writing?" Ken asked curious. Berserker looked at him, and then Ken realized that he wasn't wearing his eye patch. The golden eyes where drilling into him and Ken felled as if all the breath where sucked out of his longs. Then Berserker looked away "you wouldn't understand" he said. "Why?" Ken asked. Berserker looked at him his face filled whit anger "I said you wouldn't understand so forget about it" the anger was easy recognized in his voice.

"Oke, oke I was just being curious" Ken said not wanting to cause any trouble. "Well then don't be" Berserker said as he stood up and graphed his bag. Ken looked at him as he left the shop not bothering to go after him. He looked at the place where Berserker sat just a few moments ago. There was something lying on the table. Ken picked it up… it was a notebook. He read the title "Tears from heaven" he said slowly, then he looked out of the window as the rain started to fall for the second time this week.

**Well did you like it? Did you hate it? Please review and give me jour opinion.**

**-Neko-Thenshi **


	2. The story of a friend,dedicated to LunaP

**Title: Tears from heaven**

**Summary: Farf whished someone would understand him, that someone could see past the madman, but no one does, that is until Ken finds his notebook and reads his stories (the story is better than the summary) kenxfarf Shounen-ai don't like don't read**

**Warning: Shounen-ai eventually, don't like, don't read and I warned you so don't flame oke **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Weiss kreuz/Knight hunters, but I do own the story**

**Authors note: I know I didn't update for a long time, but I was on holyday to England so um yeah here's chapter 02, I dedicated it to Nikki (a.k.a) Luna p**

**Reviews: **

**Luna P: wow that is the longest review I've ever read in my entire live and you made me very, very happy with it, that's why I dedicated this chapter to you . Oh and I do need a beta reader, and I tried to mail you but for some reason it didn't work so if you could mail me than I could mail you back, my email address is on my profile, and by the way I loved how you used Duo's quite **

**Chapter 02: The story of a friend, dedicated to Luna P **

#Ken's P.O.V.#

It was just a few days ago Berserker and I met. And it still rained, IT WOULDN'T STOP! So I'm trapped inside this house without anything to do. And more important I'm trapped inside this house with that thing!

#end Ken's P.O.V.#

Ken looked at the notebook that was lying on his desk a few feed away from him. He couldn't stop thinking about that thing and more important he couldn't stop thinking about its owner. Berserker looked so differed that day, not at all what he was used from the psychopath. He remembered their conversation.

#flashback#

"What are you writing?" Ken asked curious. Berserker looked at him, and then Ken realized that he wasn't wearing his eye patch. The golden eyes where drilling into him and Ken felled as if all the breath was sucked out of his longs. Then Berserker looked away "you wouldn't understand" he said. "Why?" Ken asked. Berserker looked at him his face filled with anger "I said you wouldn't understand so forget about it" the anger was easy recognized in his voice.

"Oke, oke I was just being curious" Ken said not wanting to cause any trouble. "Well then don't be" Berserker said as he stood up and graphed his bag.

#end flashback#

'Why wouldn't I understand? And what was Berserker writing?' this where only two of the many questions ruling in Ken's mind. And he knew that many would be left unanswered. Slowly he walked over to the table grasping the notebook, and before he knew it he was reading it.

#story#

Silently she walked down the road. The sand crisped below her feed. Cars where rushing by. People where looking at her….. why where they looking at her? Was she really that different then the others? She didn't like that people looked at her, it made her feel insecure. Sometimes she just wanted to be invisible, to disappear like the wind blowing through her hair.

She turned right onto a footpath that went along a rim. She walked alone there as the ocean roared below her. That was the best way to travel mom had always said, alone…. Other people would just distract you.

So she walked along the rim, away from the place she once called home, without looking back…

#end story#

Ken flipped over to the next page, empty… 'Strange' Ken thought as he looked at the next page, nothing. He flipped over to the next, and the next, and the next, all where empty. Ken didn't understand, why make such a beautiful story and then not finish it. The next couple of hours Ken spent to figure out why? Reading the story over and over again without any luck. Eventually Ken laid the notebook away and looked outside, it had stopped raining.

#scene change#

Farfarello looked outside the window of the prison called his home, the others had left a few minutes ago. Farfarello had asked if he could come, but they only said that he would be a burden to look after, after all he was mentally not 100 in order.

Farfarello sighed, maybe they where right, maybe he was just an ordinary killer. He sighed as he began to feel depressed again. And for the hundredths time this week he grasped his bag looking for his notebook, but it was not there, his notebook was gone! Farfarello surged his memory for a clue where he could have left it and then he remembered. "The kitten".

#scene change#

"Ken! We're home again!" Omi screamed waiting for an answer, an answer that did not came. "Ken? Ken where are you?" Omi screamed again as he walked through the house. "Maybe he is in his room" Yohji said "I'll go check". "good idea I'll come with you" Omi said as they climbed up the stairs and knocked on Ken's door, still no answer.

Yohji and Omi looked at each other before they opened the door. There was Ken sitting on his bed with some kind of notebook in his hands. His eyes where swirling over the page and you could see he was deep in thought. Omi walked over to Ken "Ken-kun didn't you hear us call?", no response. "Uh Ken" Yohji waved his hand before Ken's eyes, still no response. "Alright this is getting irritating" Yohji looked at Omi "do you know what we can do to wake up sleeping beauty?".

"Well maybe I do". "Well?" Yohji said "I'm waiting". "Oh oke" Omi said as he cleared his voice, he counted to three and then he screamed as loud as he could "KEN-KUN!". "Whaaa!" Ken screamed as he fell off the bed "wha, what's wrong, is there a fire ore something".

"Ah look who has waked up from his daydream" Omi smirked. Ken sighed "couldn't you wake me up a little more gentle?". At this Omi rolled his eyes and helped Ken up. "look what we have here" Yohji picked up the notebook "a note from Ken's secret admirer?". Ken blushed "no! it's a story, I got it from uh….a friend". "Oh and what's the name of this friend?". "Uh well umm" Ken stuttered. "Jei". They both immediately looked at Omi "What?" Ken asked. "His name is Jei". "H how do you know that?" Ken asked in disbelieve. Omi walked over to Ken, the notebook under his arm, then he sowed him the page "Look" he said as he pointed his finger to a few sentences above the story.

Title: Tears form heaven

Date: 19-7-2005

Author: Jei

A small smile appeared on Ken's face as he read those last letters 'so it's Jei huh'.

#later that evening#

The cold wind blew through his hair as he walked through the park. The park was dark and abandoned, but still he knew he was not alone. He knew he was here. He stopped at the words he wanted to hear "hello kitten".

Ken waked up from the sound of the wind blowing through his window. He sat up in bed as he rubbed his eyes. He looked around, he was in his room. Ken sighed, what a strange dream. He stood up and closed his window and then he suddenly realized that he didn't open the window when he went to bed. So who did?. He didn't even need to ask as he heard the sound he last expected. "Hello kitten".

**Ah cliffhanger mean isn't it, well you'll just have to wait until the next chapter. But I'm not so mean that I don't give you a preview of the next chapter.**

**Preview:**

Quickly he hushed him by putting his hand around his mouth. The kitten struggled for escape, but failed. When he felt that Siberian didn't struggle anymore he said "if I let go of your mouth do you promise me not to scream anymore?". The kitten notted and he let go of his mouth, but he soon regretted that when the kitten started to scream again. He tried to put his hand around the kittens mouth again but Siberian didn't let him. He started to panic now, what if the others awake, then he would be in big trouble and he didn't want that. He needed to shut Siberian up now! So he did the first thing that came to his mind.

**So that was the Preview of chapter 03, I hope you liked this chapter and please review.**

**-Neko-Thenshi**


	3. The stars are watching over you

**Title: Tears from heaven**

**Summary: Farf whished someone would understand him, that someone could see past the madman, but no one does, that is until Ken finds his notebook and reads his stories (the story is better than the summary) kenxfarf Shounen-ai don't like don't read**

**Warning: Shounen-ai eventually, don't like, don't read and I warned you so don't flame oke **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Weiss kreuz/Knight hunters, but I do own the story**

**Authors note: Yay I updated really soon this time because I didn't last time, and enjoy the story **

**Reviews:**

**Anendee: Thanks for reviewing, and I hope I didn't make much mistakes this time .**

**darksparrow2: Well I updated soon and I will check my spelling or actually my Beta reader will (I hope). **

**Chapther 03: The stars are watching over you**

Slowly Ken turned around. He looked trough his room trying to find out where the noise had come from. His eye's searched trough the darkness. The only sound was the sound of his breath quickening. He couldn't have imagined it, could he?

He slowly began to walk to the nearest light switch. His footsteps sounded loud. His heard was beating in his throat. He knew he was here, here in this room… but where? He stopped when he heart another pair of footsteps. The sound was soft, almost inaudible to the human ear. But Ken was trained at this, and for him the sound was as clear as glass. He listened as the footsteps stopped.

He swallowed once as he gathered the guts to say something. "W… where are you?" he stuttered "what do you want!". He stirred as he heard a laugh, a wicked laugh that confirmed his thoughts on who his visitor was.

Slowly a shadow appeared from the darkness. Ken watched as the person stepped into the moonlight. His pale skin shining in the moonlight, making him look like he wasn't among the living anymore. The look in his eyes made Ken shiver. And the smirk, that wicked smirk really finished it all.

"Did I scare you Kitten?" he asked as he walked towards Siberian. The kitten looked at his knife as it slowly slid past the metal of the radiator, making a harsh scratching sound. Siberian than looked at him again.

"W… what do you want?" Ken asked again.

"What I want?" Berserker repeated "I want my notebook back, and then I want you to be punished". Ken looked at the knife that now was near his throat. He swallowed. He had to get out of here and quick!

He turned around and ran out of the door, down the stairs, through the kitchen and into the living room. He quickly turned on the light. He panted heavily as he looked behind him. No one. Quickly he closed the door. He screamed as he felt a cold hand on his shoulder.

Quickly Farfarello hushed Ken by putting his hand around his mouth. The kitten struggled for escape, but failed. When he felt that Siberian didn't fight anymore he whispered "if I let go of your mouth do you promise me not to scream anymore?"

The kitten nodded and Farfarello let go of his mouth, but he soon regretted that when the kitten started to scream again. He tried to put his hand around the kitten's mouth again but Siberian didn't let him. He started to panic now, what if the others awoke, then he would be in big trouble and he didn't want that. He needed to shut Siberian up, now! So he did the first thing that came to mind.

Ken stopped screaming when he felt something on his lips. It felt like someone was….. kissing….. him. He opened his eye's starring directly into yellow ones. Ken was in complete shock. Jei. Was. Kissing. Him!

Farfarello pulled back as he saw Siberian open his eyes. He tried hard not to laugh when he saw the expression the kitten made. He stood there in complete shock. His eyes were three times there normal size and Farfarello figured that the information from the kiss was not completely processed yet.

Ken blinked a few times before he asked "why?"

"Why what?" Berserker said.

"Why did you kiss me Jei!" This time it was Berserker who made a face

"Jei?"

"Yes Jei, that's your name remember?"

Farfarello looked at the boy in front of him, how did he knew his real name? He had never told it to anyone before, not even his teammates. Not even Schuldig knew his name and he's a telepath! "How do you know my name?" he asked.

"Your story" the kitten simply answered.

"Oh". He whispered realization dawning on him,

Ken looked at Jei, almost frightened of what he saw. A silent tear felled from Jei's cheeks. He was crying, the psychopath was crying!

Farfarello quickly wiped his tears away when he noticed how Siberian was starring at him. "What never saw anyone cry before?" he asked as he tried to hide his tears unfortunately for him it didn't work.

"Why do you cry?" the kitten asked. Farfarello laughed at that

"Why do I cry?" he repeated "is it really so hard for you to figure out?".

Siberian gave him a questioning look "what do you mean?" Farfarello laughed again "you think I'm a freaking psychopath, don't you?"

"No! I don't think your-" Ken begun but he stopped when he saw the look on Jei's face. He sighed "yes I do think you're a freaking psychopath".

"See" Farfarello said "every body thinks that, they judge me before they really get to know me". Another tear fell from his cheeks, and another. The tears kept coming, he couldn't stop them. "No one knows me…. every morning I wake up wishing that I could just sleep forever, that I never have to wake up in this world again".

For a moment Ken just stopped breathing when he heard those words. 'Those words, there exactly like mine'.

#flashback#

"Ken-kun?" Omi slowly opened the door "oh your already awake, well breakfast is ready" he said with a smile.

"Yes I'll be right there," Ken said still half asleep. He got up slowly. 'Oh how I hate mornings' he thought as he got dressed 'some times I just wish I could sleep forever, that I never have to wake up in this world again'.

#end flashback#

"Hello? Is somebody there?" Ken turned around as he heard someone coming down the stairs. "Hello?" Yohji's head appeared from behind the door "Ken what are you doing here?"

"Uh nothing" Ken said as he looked behind him. Jei was gone.

"Well come on then, back to bed, we'll have a very busy day tomorrow". Ken only nodded as he silently followed Yohji up the stairs. He was very confused about that man, why did he tell him all those things? And why did he feel sorry for him?

'Maybe he just needed someone to listen' Ken thought as he looked out of the window, the shining stars watching over him.

**Well I hoped you liked it, please review and let me know (how more reviews I get, how faster chapter 04 is up ). **


	4. Dear diary

**Title: Tears from heaven**

**Summary: Farf whished someone would understand him, that someone could see past the madman, but no one does, that is until Ken finds his notebook and reads his stories (the story is better than the summary) kenxfarf Shounen-ai don't like don't read**

**Warning: Shounen-ai eventually, don't like, don't read and I warned you so don't flame oke **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Weiss kreuz/Knight hunters, but I do own the story**

**Authors note: Ok I'm really, really sorry that I didn't update sooner but I had a major writers block on this one, so I tried to do my best. Well enjoy and please R&R. **

**Chapter 04: Dear diary… **

Dear diary,

You know that guy I told you about a few days ago, you know the psychopath.

Well he was here last night, that's right here in this house.

I didn't think one of Schwartz would ever be so stupid as to come here, but he did…

First it was terrifying; he acted like he was going to kill me just because I read his story. Actually he always acts that way, it wasn't anything unusual for him to do…but the look in his eye's… the look in his eye's just terrified me.

I don't know what was so terrifying about them, like I said he usually looks like that, you know the 'I'm going to kill you' kind of look.

But then every thing changed when he…he…he kissed me, on the lips.

Of course I was disgusted by this, but then the strangest thing happened... he started to cry.

Can you believe it! A member of Schwartz crying in frond of his enemy! No one in the right mind would ever even try to picture that!

But then I guess…. he isn't right minded….. so he did, he cried in front of me and the funniest thing is, that I felt sorry for him.

"You think I'm a freaking psychopath, don't you?" those are the words he said to me.

I felt so sorry for him, I wanted to make him stop crying, to stop, no…. actually I wanted to stop feeling sorry for him, I didn't want to pity my enemy, but I did… I couldn't help myself.

So I said "No! I don't think you're a freaking psychopath!" or at least I wanted to say that, but the look in his eye's….

And again those eyes you must think, but you wouldn't believe how many emotions those eyes can show.

Really those eyes are amazing; they can go from killing mode, to crying, to whatever… There's only one emotion I have never seen in those eyes before….. happiness.

But I guess that I never will see that emotion in his eyes… I don't even think anyone will.

But why, oh why do I feel sorry for him, maybe I'm just too sensitive for this work, I mean, no I mustn't think this way.

I'm Weiss; he's Schwartz we're enemies! That's what we are enemies…

Ah darn! I wish I would never have found his stupid notebook!

But I can't turn back time, so I must live with it…. it's so unfair!

Oh I must go, Aya is going to be pissed if I'm coming late… again.

Bye!

#end diary scene#

"Ken hurry up! We're going to be late" Yohji screamed.

"Coming" Ken screamed back as he rushed of down the stairs and out of the door.

It was a beautiful morning, the sun was shining and the birds where singing. The only sound in the house was the sound of the clock ticking. Farfarello sat at the dinner table, rays of light shining on the piece of paper as he wrote. He liked it when it was quiet in the house; it was an excellent opportunity to write a nice piece of work. But unfortunately the house being this quiet was very rare.

He looked outside the window. He saw some children playing by the pond, they where smiling. He was jealous of those children, they where so carefree, so…. so….naïve. Most people would be angry if they were called that, naïve. But sometimes naivety was better than knowing the truth.

"You write a lot lately." Farfarello looked at the person who said this. Nagi was sitting in front of him.

"Yes, it's the only way to express my feelings," Nagi nodded

"I understand,"

'No you don't' Farfarello thought 'no one does'. There was a long silence between them.

Nagi looked outside the window, he looked deep in thought, then suddenly he turned his head and said "you had that dream again, didn't you?"

"How do you know?" Farfarello asked.

"I heard you scream." Another long silence. Nagi sighed breaking the quiet "if you want to talk about it I'll be around" he said. Farfarello nodded as Nagi stood up and left the room.

After a few minutes Farfarello also stood up. He walked trough the house, or it was more like strolling. He looked out of the window again, the children were gone. He sighed, why did his life need to be so complicated. Deciding that he needed some fresh air to clear his mind he got his coat.

He started his walk trough the park as leaves started to fall. Fall was his favorite time of year, it was a good time to think and to reflect on your life. He looked at the leaves falling. It was a pretty sight, or at least that's what he thought.

The park was big and there was just no end to the road he was walking. But he didn't care, he actually liked it. It was just like walking the road of life, there was just no end until…

Farfarello stopped, he had reached his destination. The pool. Now this may sound funny to you, Farfarello going to a pool, but he actually liked it there. Not many people would look for an assassin in a pool, which was why it was so perfect. But that was not the main reason he was going there, he actually liked swimming. It was a good way to relax and to let go of all your worries.

He began to undress himself as he slowly began to remember his dream.

#Flashback#

"Why are you doing this to me!" he screamed to the man.

"Because you need to be punished," the man said.

"Why!" Farfarello screamed hysterically "Why! What did I do to you!" The man smiled, no, he smirked. That smirk kind of reminded Farfarello of Brad.

"It's not about me it's about them" the man pointed to the corner of the room. Farfarello's eyes became wide from shock of what he saw.

#another Flashback#

"What is this?" Farfarello asked as he looked trough the room. The room was filled with huge bookcases and in every bookcase there were scrolls. There was also a long scroll that lay on the floor.

"This is the document on all the people you killed or hurt in any way, they can not heal".

#end Flashbacks#

Farfarello put on his swimming trunks and walked out of the dressing room. He looked around; perfect there weren't too many people. But when he was about to go into the water he heard a voice behind him saying, "what are you doing here?"

He turned around and saw Siberian. "Ah how nice to see you here kitten" he said smirking.

"Why are you stalking me?" the kitten asked, he sounded frightened.

"What are you talking about?" Farfarello asked.

"Your stalking me aren't you? Just like last night"

"I wasn't stalking you then!" Farfarello said.

"Then why did you kiss me?" and with that there was silence.

**Alright this sucked, dam you writers block! Uhum sorry I got carried away, but anyway please let me know if you liked it. Oh and I might not have so much time for this anymore because school's starting again here, so I'm sorry. Oh and you might think it's strange that I did not responded to your review(s) but they decided that you may not respond anymore. **

**-Neko-Thenshi **


	5. A message from god

**Title: Tears from heaven**

**Summary: Farf whished someone would understand him, that someone could see past the madman, but no one does, that is until Ken finds his notebook and reads his stories (the story is better than the summary) kenxfarf Shounen-ai don't like don't read**

**Warning: Shounen-ai eventually, don't like, don't read and I warned you so don't flame oke **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Weiss kreuz/Knight hunters, but I do own the story**

**Authors note: Alight the next chapters on! I'm so glad I finished it, man school sucks I had absolutely no time to write at home… so I did it at school. I know my parents are going to be mad if they read this because they say I need to get good grades. But hey I'm getting good grades and I'm writing, and yadayadayada ok I'm talking too much right now but I'm hyper so don't blame me. And because I'm hyper I'm going to put something new in the story. You are going to vote what kind of scenes you want in this story. **

**So option A: More Ken and Farf pool scenes.**

**Option B: More Ken diary scenes.**

**Option C: Both.**

**Option D: Your own suggestions.**

**Oke enjoy the story and please R&R.**

**Chapter 05: A message from god **

Farfarello put on his swimming trunks and walked out of the dressing room. He looked around; perfect, there weren't too many people. But when he was about to go into the water he heard a voice behind him saying, "what are you doing here?"

He turned around and saw Siberian. "Ah how nice to see you here kitten" he said smirking.

"Why are you stalking me?" the kitten asked, he sounded frightened.

"What are you talking about?" Farfarello asked.

"Your stalking me aren't you? Just like last night"

"I wasn't stalking you then!" Farfarello said.

"Then why did you kiss me?" Ken asked. Farfarello was a little taken back by that.

"I…you" he stuttered struggling with his words. "I needed to shut you up," he said putting an end to the conversation as quickly as possible.

"Well you could have done it in another way you know!" the kitten said angrily.

"Well if you hadn't screamed I wouldn't have kissed you. Beside it wasn't such a big deal" Farfarello said nonchalant.

"NOT SUCH A BIG DEAL!" Ken screamed not caring about the other people in the pool "IT WAS DISGUSTING!"

Farfarello smirked "oh was it? Then why didn't you pull away?" His smirk became even wider when he saw how Siberian struggled to explain his actions. But unfortunately for him he had lost his words.

After a few minutes of watching the kitten struggle to find what he wanted to say Farfarello sighed. "What's your name?" He asked all of sudden.

"W…what?" the kitten said confused.

"I asked you what your name was. I can't keep calling you kitten the whole time, how ever nice it might sound"

"Uh, my name is Ken" Ken said not knowing why he answered the question in the first place.

"Ken huh, I should have know by the way you always look like a Barbie doll" Farfarello said. He lowered himself to the rim of the pool letting one of his legs hang in the water.

"What did you say!" Ken asked angrily. Farfarello smirked

"Oh come on Ken, take a good look in the mirror some time. You look like you could have any girl in the world". Ken blushed. 'I can't believe he said that' he thought.

'I can't believe I said that' Farfarello thought holding back a blush that threatened to creep across his face and show his embarrassment to the whole of the poolroom. An uncomfortable silence fell over them. Ken decided to sit beside Jei who was looking at the water, Ken assumed he was deep in thought. "You know," he said, still looking at the water "I really wasn't stalking you, I came here because I needed to think"

"About what?" Ken asked.

"About everything" Farfarello said. They were quiet again.

"I came here to escape from the real world for a while" Ken finally said breaking the silence.

"How do you do that?" Jei asked, the confusion written on his face.

"Well water has the odd habit to make all sounds fade away when you dive into it. And for me it's just like being in an other world" Ken explained.

"Okay" Jei nodded his head "has anyone ever told you that you need to see a psychiatrist, because I think it's time you consider it." Ken laughed;

"Look who's talking," Ken smirked, and gently knocked a few strands of hair away from his eyes.

"Well from how I see it I'm acting totally normal right now," Jei said…smiling.

This shocked Ken, Jei was smiling, really smiling. 'Wow he looks pretty when he smiles' Ken thought 'Wait…reverse that, did I just said he was Pretty? Maybe I do need to see a psychiatrist.' But then Farfarello stopped smiling. He sighed "you know," he said looking at the water again "I have these dreams about my past… or there actually more like nightmares."

"What happens in those dreams?" Ken asked. His curiosity growing somewhat.

Farfarello sighed and was quiet for a while. "Well" he started "There's this man that I don't know and he…he shows me things, things I don't want to see and….". Farfarello sighed again "what's the use, you wouldn't understand anyway" he said standing up, leaving.

Ken was now alone in the pool, the people who were there earlier had left. He looked at the water. And after a few minutes of thinking Ken also left the pool.

The wind felt cold to his wet body as he left the building. He shivered as he put on his jacket. He started his walk home trough the park, only stopping at the side of a man sitting on a bench by the pond. He had white hear and scars on his face.

After a few minutes Ken decided to sit next to Jei. He watched him as he fed the ducks with some leftover bread, and for the first time there was a comfortable silence between them.

"Why do you want to know?" Jei asked after finishing feeding the ducks.

"Huh?" Ken asked.

"Why do you want to know what's bothering me?"

"Oh" Ken said looking away. Then he sighed "for once I just want to understand you."

"You want to understand?" Jei asked in disbelieve "you want to understand a psychopath?"

"Uh yeah" Ken said doubting his own answer. 'Do I really want to understand him?' he thought 'I mean he is a madman, what if I turn mad too?'. _Who says you haven't already_ a little voice said in the back of his mind.

He tuned his head, letting his gaze meet Jei's. And after a while Ken realized he couldn't look away. Jei's eyes where like a predator, they where hypnotizing. Finally Jei looked away. "You'll figure it out soon enough" and with that he left Ken alone.

#That evening#

Ken fell on his bed, broken from the hard day of work. Aya had become very angry of the fact that Ken had gone to the pool instead of working, and had doubled his work. Actually very angry wasn't even near it.

Ken closed his eyes as he felt sleep consuming him. There was a flash of light before his eyes. Ken felt like he was being sucked out of his body.

Another flash of light. There where images forming in front of his eyes. His vision was blurry but he was sure he could hear someone scream.

A final flash of light and Ken found himself standing in a garden, or at least something that looked like a garden. The plants and trees were dead and there was a cold wind blowing. He didn't know if it was just the wind, but at one look at the garden Ken felled shivers running down his spine.

He looked around; there was an old house in front of him. He started to wander trough the garden and found a little statue of Jesus hanging on a cross. The statue was covered with dead roses.

Ken heard a loud scream and a voice yelling words. He started to run in the direction where the screaming had originated from, as he got closer the words started to become clearer.

"Why are you doing this to me!"

"Because you need to be punished"

"Why! why! What did I do to you!"

Ken finally reached his destination and stopped running. He saw a man looking at a young boy sitting on the ground, crying. The boy had white hair and golden eyes, and for some odd reason he reminded Ken of someone.

"It's not about me it's about them". Ken watched as the man pointed his finger to the corner of the room they stood in. 'Sine when had this become a room' Ken thought, but soon that thought was gone when he saw what the man was pointing at.

There on the floor lay a bunch of children, their throats were cut and blood was pouring out. There was also a woman who looked to be around the age of 35.

"Why!" the little boy screamed "why did you do this!" The man smirked a horrifying malicious smirk.

"**I **didn't do this" he said, "you **did**."

"What! I didn't do it !" the boy screamed hysterically.

"Oh then why do you have a knife in your hand with their blood on it?" The boy looked at the knife in his hand; it was covered with blood.

"I didn't meant to!" the boy was crying and Ken could see he was starting to panic.

"You made me do it! But I didn't meant to!" The mans smirk grew wider

"That's true but it was still you who did it". Ken was furious, he wanted to kill of that man, rip him to pieces or worse, but for some reason he couldn't move.

"BUT WHY! WHY DID YOU MAKE ME DO IT!" the boy screamed again. The man turned around and left but not before he said a few last words that where printed into Ken's mind forever.

"See it as a message from God".

**Oke I hope I didn't creep you out to much . Well I hope you liked the way I explained Farfie's past. anyway let me know what you think of the story. Oh and don't forget to vote! **

**-Neko-Thenshi**


	6. Heavy on my heart

**Title: Tears from heaven**

**Summary: Farf wished someone would understand him, that someone could see past the madman, but no one does, that is until Ken finds his notebook and reads his stories (the story is better than the summary) kenxfarf Shounen-ai don't like don't read**

**Warning: Shounen-ai eventually, don't like, don't read and I warned you so don't flame ok**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Weiss kreuz/Knight hunters, but I do own the story and I also don't own the song Heavy on my heart, it belongs to Anastacia. **

**Authors note: I'm so, so sorry that I didn't update earlier, first I had two weeks of tests, then we had a school camp, then we had a holiday, and then I had writers block, so I'm really really sorry, and I hope you don't blame me too much, so enjoy the story .**

**Keys:**

"**Talking"**

'**Thinking'**

** The little voice in Ken's head **

**Chapter 06: Heavy on my heart (couldn't think up a better title) **

"BUT WHY! WHY DID YOU MAKE ME DO IT!" the boy screamed again. The man turned around and left but not before he said a few last words that where printed into Ken's mind forever. "See it as a message from god".

Ken yelled loudly as he opened his eyes and sat up in bed. He was panting heavily and a thin layer of sweat covered his body. His eyes were wide from shock. 'That was sick!' Ken thought as he wiped the sweat from his forehead.

He stood up and walked to the bathroom. He let the water run, splashing some of it in his face then he looked at the mirror in front of him. A terrified face looked back at him. Terrified…. That was exactly what he was. That dream had scared the hell out of him. He was very thankful that it was already morning because he didn't think he could sleep anymore.

Never in his entire live had he felt so afraid. Not even the fear that he felt when he was on the edge of death; which he was pretty often; could compare to this. It hadn't been like the nightmares he normally had. In those nightmares he knew he was asleep and that he would wake up again, but this dream had been so real. It was like it had really happened, like it was some sort of bad recollection.

He could still hear the hysterical screaming from the boy. Ken shivered as he thought of the sight. That boy… He closed his eyes trying to remember what the boy had looked like. Golden eyes and white hair, almost silver.

And then reality struck him, like a bullet trough his head. Fast…and painful. 'Jei' he thought as he looked in the mirror again. At this moment Ken felt as if his heart had just been ripped out. He didn't know why, but he knew it was a feeling he never wanted to feel again.

He tried to remember his whole dream. That wasn't such a good idea because it only made the situation worse, as he now remembered how little Jei had cried in pain. He felt so sorry for him, so, so sorry.

'But wait it wasn't real, it was just a dream' Ken thought. Yeah right is that the reason why you're shaking like a baby right now? Just a dream? I don't think so a little voice in the back of his head asked. 'No it, it's just a dream, just a stupid dream, it couldn't be real'. Oh brother here we go again .

'What?' ken asked to the voice, he knew it was stupid but he was curious. you're living in denial again the little voice said back. 'No! I, he, he's just a sick psychopath'. You know most of the mental disorders are caused by a troubled past . 'I didn't know tha-'. There's a lot you don't know Ken…. and I'm not talking about this dream .

Ken shook his head to clear it. He sighed as he walked out of the bathroom and got dressed. He quickly walked down the stairs and grasped his jacked. If he wanted to find out what was going on, the best person to talk to was the guy himself. He heard Yohji yell something about him making breakfast but he was already walking down the street.

The park was nice and quiet, the way it only ever was early in the morning. Ken slowly strolled past the gates and started walking towards the pool, looking for a certain person with white hair. After a few minutes of walking he had reached the pond which was halfway through the park. Still no sign of Jei.

Ken sighed as he decided to sit on the bench in front of the pond. How could he ever be so stupid to think that he would find Jei? Like he was just going to appear out of thin air and say something like: "did you sleep well last night, I didn't I had a horrible dream about my past last night". Or like he would just be living in one of the houses near the park and accidentally would be looking out the window.

Ken sighed again 'well at least I could give it a try'. He looked up at the houses not expecting to find anything, but fate had other plans for him (1). There, in the second windowsill on the second floor of the third apartment, was a young man with white hair and golden eyes. He was sitting in that windowsill looking down at him and Ken felt his heart skip.

#A little bit earlier, Schwartz apartment#

"Farf, I'm going out, Brad and Schuldig are also away so you'll be alone ok?" Nagi said whilst he put on his coat. Farfarello gave a quick nod and then started to write again. Nagi sighed and walked out of the door.

Farfarello heard the door behind him close. The house was now silent, too silent. He stood up, walked to the CD player and turned it on.

_I try to fly away but it's impossible, and every breath I take is birth to deeper sigh._(2)

_For a moment I am weak, so it's hard for me to speak….. even though we're underneath the same blue sky._

The words filled the silent room as Farfarello walked over to sit in the windowsill. He didn't feel like writing anymore, so instead he just listened to the song.

_If I could paint a picture of this melody, it would be a violin without his strings._

_And the campus in my mind sees the songs I left behind… like pretty flowers and a sunset._

He closed his eyes and leant his head against the glass.

_It's heavy on my heart, I can't make it alone._

_Heavy on my heart, I can't find my way home._

_Heavy on my heart….. so come and free me, it's so heavy on my heart._

He opened his eyes again and looked at how his breath turned into water on the ice-cold glass.

_I had my shear of pleasure, and I've tasted pain._

_I never thought that I would touch an angels wings._

_There's a journey in my eyes, it's getting heard for me to… hide. _

_Like an ocean at the serried._

_It's heavy on my heart, I can't make it alone._

_Heavy on my heart, I can't find my way home._

_Heavy on my heart….. so come and free me, it's so heavy on my heart._

_Look…can you find me in the darkness and love…don't let me down._

_There's a journey in my eyes, it's getting hard for me to… hide._

_And I never thought that I would touch an angels wings-ings-ings-ings-ings-ings._

"Ah damn CD player" Farfarello said as he stood up and tuned the CD off. Silence. Quietly Farfarello walked over to the window again, leaning his forehead against the glass. He sighed. Why had his life needed to be so complicated? Why couldn't his life be normal like everybody elses. Only if it was just for ones. Just for ones he wanted someone who could understand him, someone to be his friend or maybe even love him. But that would never happen.

Farfarello sighed again opening his eyes he didn't know he had closed. His eyes fell on a young man who was sitting on the bench by the pond. 'Ken' he thought, then he started to panic 'he mustn't see me, if he finds out were we live I will be in big trouble'.

But it was already too late, because the moment Farfarello wanted to run out of sight his eyes met Ken's. On that moment he fled, his heart skipped and his legs turned into Jell-O. Their eyes only met for a few seconds, but to Farfarello it felled like the seconds had become years.

Finally Ken looked away. 'What the heck was that?' Farfarello thought as he let out the breath he head been holding. He looked again, Ken was gone. He turned his head away, on that moment he heard the doorbell ring. He sighed, that must be Schuldig who finally realised he forgot this credit card.

He walked down the stairs, and opened the door. His eyes meting green ones, as he heard the following words. "Hallo Jei".

**Actually I had other plans with him.**

**I had to put this song in, because this song is where I get my inspiration for the story**

**So that was Chapter 06 I hope you enjoyed it although the ends sucked and please review.**

**-Neko-tenshi**


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